Reply To: Understanding supporting ’emptiness of absence’ meditation

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#2456
Sara Caldwell
Participant

I find it very helpful when you say “… and it is not self” after each aggregate we are investigating (form, feeling, perception, volitional formations, consciousness). It is at that point that I’m able to experience the insight that because of dependent arising, all conditioned phenomena, including “my own” consciousness, are empty of true or absolute existence. During the meditations, I can see that there is no self outside of what is dependently arisen. Even the present moment is empty of true existence, since it exists due to causes and conditions. That makes it easy to let go of my grasping because I’m wasting energy grasping at something that doesn’t truly exist. It’s quite sad and silly, actually, and no wonder the buddhas and bodhisattvas have such compassion for us. However, when I am not in meditation, it’s scary how quickly I go back to grasping, especially at a permanent, unitary, independent self and all the thoughts and behaviors that that belief entails. It’s SO subtle, that self, and I really want to be able to see it for what it actually is.

It’s been especially helpful for me to look deeply at my perception, how it is colored by karma (among other things), and how all of what I thought was true and real isn’t actually true and real; it’s just a conditioned way of seeing. I realize that my whole way of engaging with the world (contact, feeling, craving, grasping) is colored by karma. That makes it easier to let go, because none of it is absolutely true or real. Who knew!